WEEKEND: DAY THREE - SECTION FIVE
Updated: Aug 18
MALL OF AMERICA
RECOMMENDED TIME WINDOW: 4:15pm - 8:30pm WALKING DISTANCE: ~3 MILES
From the Light Rail, disembark and enter through the doors of the Transit Station. Turn left to go up a long hallway that ends at escalators. Go up the escalators. Stop in the little alcove off to the right of the escalators.
MALL OF AMERICA
Welcome to the largest mall in the United States, largest in the Western Hemisphere! It is the 12th largest in the world.
Opened in 1992, the MOA occupies the site of the former Metropolitan Stadium, where the Minnesota Twins and Minnesota Vikings played until the Metrodome opened in 1982. Approximately 32 million visitors come to the mall per year.
One of the most interesting features about this building is how it is heated. Only the mall’s entrances and below ground areas are heated. The rest is done by skylights in the center, lighting fixtures, electric devices and body heat! They even turn the air conditioning on in the winter, it’s so efficient! However, individual stores do have heating, so it’s really only the open common areas that perform this magic heat feat.
There are 520 stores, two food courts, a movie theater, an aquarium, a comedy club, a go-kart facility, two mini-golf courses, a Nerf battle arena, an amusement park in the center, plus 108 restaurants ranging from cart vendors to full on fine dining.
So, we’ll have a lot to do here!!
The MOA was also featured in The Mighty Ducks series, Jingle All the Way, WWE, Mary Kate and Ashley . . . if you grew up in the 90’s, the MOA was probably on your TV at some point.
In terms of the Recommended Time Window, this is primarily for those of you who are following my every move on the Weekend Experience. Feel free to go wherever you’d like, eat wherever you want . There are 4 floors to explore (the first three are a loop around the exterior of the building with the amusement park in the center of the first. The fourth only occupies the east and south sides of the building.).
If you’re sticking with me til the end, I have somewhat of a crash course version of visiting the MOA for first timers for the space of a couple hours. This definitely is an introduction, and quickly goes from one thing to the next to get the most out of the place in a short span of time.
*For a full day’s worth of itinerary goodness at the MOA, open to close, our Itinerary “Mall of America: A Day’s Worth of Retail, Rides and Restaurants” is available for FREE! You’ll find it back in the Itineraries vault.
The mall will be closing at 7pm. Restaurants stay open a little longer.
If you’re going off book, trailblazing your own path, have fun!!!
If you’re with me to the end . . . let’s start with the First Floor.
Quick note: our timing for the exploration of the mall will be 4:25pm to 7:00pm. Dinner will be at 7:00pm.
FIRST FLOOR
Right in front of us, we’re already shown that this is tourism central! Sea Life is a chain of aquariums that span the globe. This used to be an independent aquarium called UnderWater World (1996), then Undersea Adventures (2008). It became Sea Life in 2011. It occupies a good chunk of the east side’s basement, featuring a long, curling clear tunnel that really gets visitors up close and personal with various swimming creatures.
Walk past Sea Life. We’ll come to the main rotunda. Stop. This central gathering space is where all the big events happen at the mall. Your celebrity meet and greets. I was once here and just happened to be going past and Arnold Schwarzenegger was five feet away. Also, I was hanging with friends in college here, people were waving at me excitedly. I legit thought they were waving at me, but Kenny Chesney, who I didn’t know at the time, was standing right behind!
For this First Floor revolution, face the entrance to Nickelodeon Universe, the central amusement park, and turn right. We’ll go in a full circle around the First Floor back to this entrance. Before we move, read the following:
Feel free to stop in anywhere. My personal favorite places on this floor are in this quarter of the floor, which include Barnes and Noble’s, BoxLunch, Hot Topic, but those are pretty common everywhere. A special and unique place is the Twin Cities Grill. My wife and I come to this restaurant every time we’re at the MOA. It’s a steak house/supper club vibe with Frank Sinatra and the rest of the Rat Pack on the speakers. This is the best place to get a martini in the mall. The food’s excellent, too (there’s a definite spectrum of food quality at the MOA. Twin Cities Grill is one of the better places!).
Travel the first quarter on the First Floor, partake in anything you fancy along the way. Stop at the fountain just past Sephora.
Look to our left and see the Carousel. Look right down the white hall. This is a newer addition, expanded to attach to the JW Marriott hotel. At the end of the hall, to the right of the doors, is Cedar and Stone, another of the Top 5 Restaurants at the MOA. It is part of the Marriott. They specialize in crafty cocktails and high quality dishes. And a little inside baseball: I drove for Uber and Lyft, and the Marriott is THE place for celebrity hotel stays. This is where away teams also stay for pro-sports. I’ve had the most celebrity Uber/Lyft pickups from the Marriott’s roundabout, so if you’re looking for a probable celebrity spotting, head to the back of Cedar and Stone and go into the hotel’s bar in the lobby. You’re welcome.
Head down the white hall and back. Take in anything of the hall's offerings. Head back to the fountain.
Continue to complete the full revolution of the First Floor. One more place of note that I personally have to go to every time is The LEGO Store. One of the best places to browse in the mall.
Once we’ve made a full revolution, stop in the rotunda. It’s time to enter the literal centerpiece . . .
NICKELODEON UNIVERSE
Most residents of the Twin Cities lament the loss of Camp Snoopy, which really made this area a dense atrium of trees, mood lighting, fountains, pools, and log cabins. But where we lost the full ambiance of the original, we’ve gained a good slew of rides.
The conversion to Nickelodeon occurred in 2008.
There are 27 attractions, including 5 roller coasters and 1 water ride. For the space, this place packs a punch! I love it here. There are rides for all ages, including rides without height restrictions, so a newborn baby could ride some things.
Also, there's an annual releasing of live ladybugs every spring. They help with the ecosystem of the park!
It is free to walk through the park. Tickets are available at kiosks interspersed at major junctions (namely, exits to the mall on the north, south, east and west sides of the park).
Feel free to go off and frolic in the park. If you’re still sticking with me, I’ll do a counter-clockwise revolution to the right (so that we save the best ride for last!).
Some of the best rides that we’ll pass by, in order, are:
Shredder’s Mutant Mayhem (a pendulum swinging spinner)
Splat-o-Sphere (a drop ride that is more thrilling than it looks)
Pepsi Orange Streak (the best ride to get an overview of the entire park)
SpongeBob Squarepants Rock Bottom Plunge (coaster with a 90 degree lift hill that catapults you through 2 loops)
Ghost Blasters (a fun dark ride with a competitive arcade shooting gallery element)
Dutchman's Deck (ropes course)
Shell Shocked (Ninja Turtle themed ride where its possible to spin your seat upside down if you get enough oomph!)
FlyOver America (RIVALS TOP SPOT - For my Disney Parks fans, this is BETTER than Soarin’! Yeah, I said it.)
Avatar Airbender (a back and forth skateboard roller coaster)
Fairly Odd Coaster (a coaster where the car has 360 degree free movement)
Log Chute (TOP SPOT - a log flume with two drops. Superbly themed, excellent use of limited space.)
We should be back to where we started, near the main rotunda. Let’s actually go back along the bridge next to the Log Chute, past the Fairly Odd Coaster, and turn out of the park at The LEGO Store. Go past THE LEGO Store and come to the escalator.
Go up two floors. Get off on the Third Floor. Stop in the South Food Court.
THIRD FLOOR
Wait, what about the Second Floor?
Feel free, if you have time! It’s the most retail heavy floor, with nothing too unique and touristy. By all means, if you’re a completionist like me, I’d want to. If you’re short on time, in my opinion, it’s skippable. However, the Museum of Illusions is on it, if you’re so inclined, in the north hallway above Cedar and Stone.
This floor is the most touristy (save Nickelodeon Universe). Lots of restaurants, mini-golf, toy stores.
If you’d like to get a great overlook of the park, go through the food court to the bannisters at the edge. Great views.
Let’s keep going the same direction, counter-clockwise, for simplicity’s sake.
Some of the best places to note on the Third Floor in the order we’ll encounter them:
South Food Court (cheap food options)
Cowboy Jack’s (western themed restaurant)
Rainforest Cafe (VOLCAAAAANNOOOOOOOOO!!!!!)
Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. (the amount of traction this 1994 film has found to this day is astounding!)
Margaritaville (not the best of the Margaritavilles out there but this is the spot for margaritas at the mall)
Rock of Ages (glow in the dark mini golf)
Tactical Urban Combat (Laser Tag, Nerf Battles and VR)
Great Big Game Show (immersive head to head game show contest)
The Escape Game (my favorite escape rooms in the Cities - best production)
Mirror Maze (actually slightly confusing maze)
Moose Mountain Adventure Golf (some of the best mini-golf in the Cities, in my opinion)
North Food Court (more cheap quick-service options)
Super Neon (Instagram happy vibes place)
Cantina Laredo (best Mexican dining at MOA - in my TOP 5 Restaurants)
Benihana’s (for your hibachi fix!)
Crave (up scale local chain - specializes in surf and turf - sushi and steak. In the Top 5!)
Cadillac Ranch (country style, feels like Nashville, even has a mechanical bull!)
Hopefully, you’ve found something to get into in this revolution.
Once we’ve done a full spin around the Third Floor, head down to the Rainforest Cafe, Bubba Gump and Margaritaville. Once in this area, turn to the left and go up the escalator to the Fourth Floor. Stop once there.
FOURTH FLOOR
This is a small, kind of weird, floor. It only occupies this side of the building. We’re skipping the movie theater, which is back toward the South Food Court and the escalators there.
The Fair on 4 is worth a peek. It’s a bar/arcade/axe throwing/go-kart venue.
The House of Comedy is also up here. And, that’s it. Pretty quick.
Take a look around and then come back to these escalators. Stop.
If all is going according to schedule, we will have a time reading of 7:00pm-ish.
Time to get some dinner (if you haven’t succumbed to any of the tempting offerings so far).
Let’s head back to the escalators and head back down to the Third Floor.
Go back to the South Food Court’s escalators. Go down to the Second Floor.
Head off to the right, go around the elevator.
Head down the skyway toward the Radisson Blu. Stop once in front of Firelake.
FIRELAKE 7:00pm - 8:30pm
This is the BEST restaurant, in my opinion, at the MOA. The most underrated restaurant in the Cities, even! I mean it.
This is an upscale steakhouse within the Radisson Blu hotel attached to the mall. Everything I’ve ordered has been fantastic!
Lamb, burgers, walleye, wild rice, vegetarian options. Very focused on Minnesota based fare. The darker lighting and wood paneling invite a drink in the whiskey category.
A great gastronomic finish to the MOA!!!!
Head inside the restaurant. The bar usually has free seats. Once it’s 8:30pm, or you’re finished, I’ll catch back up with you to finish off Day Three.
Alright, wasn’t that a great, little underrated dinner experience? I love it here!
Day Three of the Weekend Experience is about to be over. It is Sunday, and things close a little early around these here parts.
I also have an inkling that your dogs are barking, and the weekend might just be catching up to you.
Maybe an early night in back at the hotel is in order. We’ll be getting up pretty early to finish up the Weekend (out the door around 6:30am). So, this all works in our favor.
If you’d like to keep the party going, may I recommend heading back into the North Loop of Minneapolis to partake in one of the bars you didn’t get to on the first night? Otherwise, the metro is your oyster!
If you’re staying in a hotel in downtown Minneapolis, you could take the Light Rail back. I should point out that it gets a little rowdy at night on the train. I would just go ahead and order another Uber/Lyft. They pick up in the roundabout downstairs and in front of the Radisson Blu.
What a day!! A bit shorter, but that’s okay.
We got some damn good food (and partook in the coolest brunch drink experience ever!), acted snobbish in the face of some high cultured art and history, frolicked in the urban Eden of Minnehaha Falls, and mastered a crash course in Minnesota’s number one visited tourist destination!!! You’re still killing it!!!
Tomorrow, sadly, is our last day of the Weekend Experience, but it’s no less iconic. In fact, we’ll be dealing with iconography pretty much from sunup to the ENDPOINT, so head’s up. Icons! You betcha!
Have a good, restful night. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow morning. Again, we start at 6:30am.
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